Tuesday, July 31, 2012

How to treat a lady

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart.

So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”

― Bob Marley

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Push and Pull of Relationships

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
-- Sydney J. Harris

Relationships are such a challenge because life pulls us in opposite directions at the same time.

Our personality feels the need to be unique and special and so our focus lies on how we are different from others. Differences hold the potential to create conflict.

At the same time, our souls live through connection with others. We are challenged to rise above our personal preferences to discover how we and the other are the same.

Our overall need lies in balancing these two tendencies.

"The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation."
-- Andrew Schneider

Post from The Inner Journey on Higher Awareness 

 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Standing in the background

I realized that I am hesistant to put myself out there.  Very hesitant I want to belong to something, to a group, to people, a family, but I don't want to be contained by that.  In high school, I had a small group of friends that were my very close-knit circle.  We weren't part of any of the big groups - the jocks, the nerds, the band geeks, the slackers, the druggie kids, the cheerleaders, etc. But we moved between and with most of those groups.  With them on the periphery, but never really part of the core.  We were a group unto ourselves.  And there were a lot of advantages to that. 

But this also makes me realize that I am a commitment-phobic.  I want to belong, but I don't want to commit or be tied down to that group.  Defined by that group.  

Maybe I just can't accept all the things that I'm interested in, I can't accept the way I would judge myself, and the way I think others would judge me. 

If I want to belong then I need to commit. 

History

The last half of 2011, a relationship I thought would last forever started to fall apart.  In 2012, it crumbled and broke.  I feel like I'm a pretty strong person, but I left that relationship completely shattered, shredded, and lost.  I left not knowing who I was, what I wanted, what made me happy, anything that an independent, fun, intelligent self-respecting 30 year old should know.  Not long before that, someone came into my life that I believe had something to share with me, to teach me that I really, really needed to learn.  Every single day since then has been a challenge. It has tested my self control, my kindness, my strength, my will power, my sanity, everything.  I'm wading through the darkness, looking for that glimmer of sunshine. 

I need to find myself again.  I need to put myself out there. I need to find what makes me happy, who I am, who I want to be.  So here I am, I'm going to document what I need to do to find myself, which I know is a lifelong journey.  You never stop learning new things about yourself, others, life.

But I need to do something now, I've reached my breaking point.  I have a good life, and I'm a good person, a typically happy person.  But I lost that.  I need to be happy, and to share that happiness. So I"m going to write down the things that make me happy, the things that I'm grateful for, the things that motivate me, and the things that challenge me.

I hope you come along and enjoy the ride.